Summer 2019 brought more than international travel and unforgettable memories, summer 2019 cultivated in me something I’ve desperately needed: confidence.
I have a new found confidence in who I am TODAY, not just in who I was in my “former life.”
These six long years robbed me of so much. Sickness stole almost every part of me. It’s been a strenuous journey figuring out my next steps, while caring for my health needs and tackling the different phases of this healing process.
This summer, I feel more comfortable in my skin than I expected. I’m learning to love & embrace my restored weight (though it’s a work in progress) because it represents a new state of health. The fact that my body is at a healthy weight is truly a miraculous achievement!
Health wise- I feel & function the best I have in SIX YEARS since initially becoming sick. I’m finally at a place where life feels manageable. Not so heavy, not so hard. Much lighter and much more normal. Praise Jesus!
Flying all the way to Germany and traveling non stop for the two weeks was only possible by God’s strength sustaining me. This trip was HARD. But absolutely incredible. We walked many miles every day. I kept thinking “I can’t do this anymore my body is done!” Yet, I would pray, then feel peace and somehow keep going.
The Lord used this trip to teach me that I am capable of much more than I believe. With his spirit empowering me, I can do all things.
I can do it because I have Jesus.
Only two weeks after Germany, I helped chaperone our youth group as we headed to Michigan for summer camp. Months ago I knew God was asking me to go. I couldn’t understand how this would be possible but I knew I needed to step out in faith and trust.
The week was amazing! All my needs were provided for. And as hard as it was physically, once again I was sustained to accomplish what God had for me. I reflected on the miracles God has worked for me and the purpose He has for me. What I’m doing, where I am…it matters.
I feel strong mentally and physically. I have stamina and moments of energy, though chronic fatigue and pain plague me daily. I’m able to move my body more consistently and love that my daily walks have transitioned into a combo walking and running. I enjoy going to the gym (I try to make it at least once a week) to lift weights…especially when Tyler and I can go together. That’s a part of our “old life” that we are getting back.
Eating will always be hard- however, I’m eating better on a consistent basis. This is a miracle. I never expected to be where I am after starving for years because of severe sickness.
This fall I’m taking some even bigger steps forward, ones I didn’t have planned for myself, steps that God CLEARLY laid out in front of me. He’s just asking me to walk them. More on that later.
I’m finally in a season where I don’t feel like I’m drowning, constantly fighting to keep my head above water. My life feels lighter. Not so heavy.
And I’m rejoicing for everyday like this!!!
And I’m confident that no matter what the future holds: I am never alone in this journey. My support system is the best and my God is perfect in all His ways.
Thanks for all of your love throughout the years!
3 thoughts on “Summer 2019 cultivated confidence in me”
Hi Mallory, this is so wonderful for you! And Neuschwannstein … I have been there at least 3 times myself! It’s so beautiful. The castles. The swanns. I was wondering, what did you eat in Germany? Is it possible to find something to eat there when you’re on a restricted diet? Are you still vegan? Do you still eat a lot of fruit?
Hi! Thank you!!73. It is breathtaking!! I am definitely still vegan (although I had a few things in Germany that had dairy) and yes I still eat a ton of fruit. My diet is whole food centered. I still do a lot of juicing smoothies and fruits, along with meals containing a mix of cooked veggies, starches like potatoes or whole grains, and some raw veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, greens. Oh and I enjoy beans and lentils! It was completely possible to eat this way in Germany. I enjoyed the fresh baked breads as well!! Every restaurant has a vegan option. That doesn’t always mean healthy and typically there’s a lot of oil, but every restaurant also had steamed potatoes, salads and fresh white asparagus which was in season when we visited. There are fresh fruit stands everywhere with the best strawberries I had ever tasted! We stayed part of the time with our German “sister”, so I was able to get groceries and have meals prepared at home!
You are amazing.