My last weekend as a Chaney has already come and gone.
HOW is that even POSSIBLE?
My last Sunday at church where I shared a name with my Daddy. The last time I will ride to church with a parent, from the home we currently live in, and not a spouse from our shared home.
The last church service for Tyler & I as an engaged couple with two different last names.
My last weekend of sleeping alone, in my own bed, & waking up to my usual morning routines.
In fact, this is the last time I will write on Still Waters Blog as Mallory Chaney, unmarried woman. Next time you hear from me, I anticipate two weeks, I’ll have a new last name & a new life & a really handsome husband.
Today’s #ThoughtofThanks speaks for itself. My entire life I’ve dreamt of this fairytale wedding, a Prince Charming, a beautiful dress, & a love story that was true enough to withstand dangerous storms. And God has richly blessed me with all of those dreams! As I fell asleep last night I continuously praised & thanked My Great God for His goodness, His hand, His miracles that have led to this time, & His Plan, though it feels unbearable many times, which always brings beauty from ashes.
All these moments leading up to the wedding — FIVE DAYS PEOPLE– all the feelings, & sentiments & emotions that I can’t possibly put into words… Everything feels totally surreal. And CRAZY, but in the best possible way. How can I write/express everything that’s stirring up inside? Especially when I’m not even sure what I feel.
I certainly won’t miss the logistics of planning a wedding…the decision making, stress, money spending, etc. However, if I’m being honest I’ll admit that I’m a bit scared of how much I’ll miss the magical feels, the anticipation, the dreaming, the excitement of the day that changed everything.
And I realize that there’s nothing to fear. Sure, I’ll look at pictures & feel nostalgic & probably wish that day could last forever. But this isn’t a prom, a ball, or a regular party. This is the START to a new life, the first day of the rest of our lives which will inevitably hold the best days.
The happiest times will not lie behind, they lie ahead.
And the actual wedding day is not the end of anything (well one chapter of life of course) it’s simply the beginning of something great. It’s the first time that Tyler & I will open the door to a glorious new world Our Father designed to bring us great joy & Him greater glory.
I’m not naive. I realize marriage is normal life– yet it’s typical life that we get to live together, as One. And my excitement for the mundane parts of this life, is through the roof, because God is gifting me the pleasure of doing it all with my best friend. With the man He designed specifically for me.
What could be better? What could be sweeter?
In final soul preparation for April 23 I’ve been asking myself important questions. One of which holds the most bittersweet feelings:
Am I ready to close the door on Mallory Chaney, daughter of Jim & Maria, and reopen it as Mrs. Mallory Jenkins, wife of Tyler?
Truthfully I cannot wait to share a name with Tyler! And yet a part of me mourns the loss of sharing my name with the family who has raised me & loved me most. On April 23 I’ll say goodbye to a huge part of my identity…
God overtakes my thoughtsto remind me that identities do not lie in names…identities do not belong in the people you live with, your spouse, your family, job, or church… true identity lies in Christ alone. The solid rock on which I stand is the one place I find my true confidence, my true purpose, my realist self. In Christ alone we find our identifies as Children of God, forgiven & free! And no matter how many changes or identity crises we face on Earth, HE is unchanging.
Through every change that’s about to occur in my own life, God stands UNENDING, UNCHANGING, FOREVER. Lord, You are forever unshaken, forever the same. You are the constant today, tomorrow, & forevermore.
I’m ready now.